These "rebuttals" are from an era in the English language before disagreements were reduced to four-letter words. Oh, for the days of civility -- back then, even insults had some class!
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
Bring a friend, if you have one."
- Winston Churchill, in response:
"Cannot possibly attend on the first night, I will attend the second...If there is one."
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx.
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain
Believe it or not, even God has used some clever language in describing people who deserve it...
Don't pay any attention to that good-for-nothing Nabal. His name means "fool," and it really fits him! - 1 Samuel 25:25
A fool with words of wisdom is like an athlete with legs that can't move. - Proverbs 26:7
The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow himself. - Ecclesiastes 10:12
There is more hope for a fool than for someone who says, "I'm really smart!" - Proverbs 26:12
And, of course, this favorite of all wise parents...
Don't be a fool and disobey your parents. Be smart! Accept correction. - Proverbs 15:5
(Feel free to share this with your kids.)